Such is the nature of the workplace that everybody will have occasions where there is some negativity about themselves. Even if you are a model corporate citizen, when people put their minds to it they will find something about you to complain about. If you are quietly spoken, this makes you aloof. If you are outgoing, this makes you arrogant and obnoxious. You can’t win them all.
It is lonely at the top; though you are not “at the top”, you need to become comfortable with being the focus of attention because soon enough you will get noticed for the good work. Then comes the attention and as sure as night follows day, you will get some people gunning for you. It is a competitive environment and if there is nothing about you to dislike, they will make it up.
You will not have it your own way because rewards, recognition and promotion are relative, so they must be contested. Some people will use any means necessary to ensure others don’t get ahead.
Many of us have a natural sense of equilibrium regarding our behaviour, whilst others need to work on developing the tell-tale signs of whether or not they are going about things in the right way, so as to distinguish between genuine feedback from sniping at your character.
My rule of thumb is if you don’t have respect and trust in your relationship with the person, unless they are a key decision maker, their criticism can be discounted as competitive jostling, superficial or borne out of their insecurities. You should listen to everybody, but only take on board the opinions from those you respect and trust.
Now many people will tell you this is foolish, that it is arrogant and that feedback should be considered regardless of its source. I do agree with this to an extent, which is why I think you should listen to all feedback and determine whether there is any truth in it for you. Of course this requires a great deal of self awareness and honesty. However you shouldn’t take all feedback seriously and make personal adjustments, because this assumes that all feedback is sincere in its source and intent, which is absurd.
Given the competitive dynamics in an organisation and that most opinions are derived from superficial experiences, 2nd or 3rd hand gossip at best or just a figment of someone’s insecurities; taking everybody’s feedback on board is a sure fire way to stress leave and long therapy sessions!
You may have noticed a contradiction in some of this with the previous post. How can everybody matter, yet I recommend that you don’t act on everybody’s opinion?
First of all, focus on what you can control ie your behaviour. Let’s take a look at the possibilities:
Some will criticise you regardless of your behaviour
You will always have these people. Anyone with a visible profile in the organisation will draw some criticism from some people. Like a celebrity, it’s part of having a high profile in the organisation. In the initial period, your profile is imposed upon you b virtue of the fact that you are on the graduate development program. This comes with its own pro’s and cons.
Some will have genuine reasons for criticism
Taking the celebrity analogy further, just like every celebrity is subject to gossip and innuendo regardless of their behaviour, others provide genuine reasons for such speculation and often encourage it through their behaviour.
Others will be sincere in their criticism, but wrong in their conclusions
As a result of biases or incomplete information about you or the situation, some of your colleagues may misunderstand you, thus providing a basis for criticism.
Some of your colleagues may criticise you regardless of your actual behaviour. However, if your behaviour or performance provides genuine reasons for criticism, then you increase the number of potential critics amongst your colleagues. So some criticism may be genuine and others, just a product of the competitive social dynamics. Your challenge is to objectively determine whether the source of criticism is worthy of consideration and then to analyse your own behaviour objectively.
So continue to plant the seeds of positive momentum in everything that you do to shape the opinions of those who interact with you. Don’t worry about what you can’t control. Self-interest and competitive dynamics mean it is in the interests of some people to speak ill of you, however, an overwhelming wave of positive momentum from others will silence their objections.
Some will hold onto a superficial understanding of what you are like in the absence of a personal experience, though this is easily displaced by a genuine personal interaction. A positive personal experience is not easily displaced by whispers.
Listen to and acknowledge the feedback that is given to you. Being dismissive in the face of direct feedback will only aggravate a relationship further, regardless of the source or nature of the feedback. What you do with the feedback is a matter of personal discretion and should be decided upon away from the source.
