Graduate Development Programs

Your Manager II: Building Trust

When you start your new job on the Graduate Program, it is easy to be lulled into a false sense of equality with your manager, especially once you get indoctrinated with the growing organisational trends like 360 degree feedback, staff empowerment speeches and open plan offices. Unlike organisations like the military or the police force, where you are left in no doubt about whom your superior is, we go through all sorts of charades in the corporate office to disguise the power structure of a workplace.

I am not advocating the submission of your opinions, compromising your values or personality. Just remember that your manager will make decisions about you and you won’t be making any about them.

The good way to describe the fundamental nature of your relationship with your manager is to think of a lion tamer (you) and the lion (your manager). Now it may appear as though they are one act, performing together. That there is a bond of trust, but we all know which of the two is in charge. The whole act is actually on the lion’s terms.

The lion tamer is at the mercy of the lion at all times, but is banking on the appearance of trust and the lion’s tendency to respond to certain commands. However, it should also be noted that most lion “tamers” end up being killed by lions. When it comes to the crunch, the lion can kill the lion tamer at any point in time, despite the illusory control he seemingly exerts in the performance.

Why is this so important? Because there are so many workplace cues that blur the truth in the relationship between you and your manager. We are told that open and honest communication is a personal responsibility and that if we have a problem with someone (anyone at all), that we have an obligation to tell them in order to solve this. The essential prerequisites for this level of trust to flourish are ignored, which can leave you vulnerable to personal attacks. This is especially true with your line manager.

The lion tamer goes through a long process to allow the lion to become familiar with him, so as not to view him as a threat or prey. This establishes acceptance and conditional trust between the pair in order to co-exist. Gradually, the lion tamer introduces commands into the relationship and goes on to build a performance routine.

The same applies to you and your manager. You need to go through a process of building trust and establishing boundaries. The higher the level of mutual trust, the more open you can be without fear of jeopardising your relationship. Trust is even more important to you because not only do you not know your manager very well, but you don’t know anybody else either and you are in completely new surrounds. Starting on the Graduate Program makes you highly visible and also highly vulnerable.

Unlike task related issues, which can be discussed in a fairly impersonal manner, relationship/interpersonal issues are by definition personal and difficult to handle objectively. You need to establish trust and respect in your relationship before these can be dealt with and this will take time. Some early indicators that your manager trusts you or is open to developing such a relationship are that he:

-    Listens to your ideas on various pieces of work and will seek your opinion
-    Takes a genuine interest in you as a person and will often have non-work related conversations
-    Will take the time to make an unscheduled catch-up with you if they have been busy for a day or more
-    Actually greets you with a good morning, instead of waiting for you to acknowledge him first (don’t laugh, petty power trips are common)

If you haven’t established respect and trust with your manager, your honesty concerning interpersonal matters can backfire on you, regardless of your tact and diplomacy. Tread carefully. Very carefully, because you are not on an equal footing and the organisation does not treat you as equals either. HR will tell you they do, but in reality they don’t.

Take this typical snapshot: You have one manager but your manager has many direct reports. Unless your complaint against your manager is regarding an infringement on company policy or the law, then you are up against it. If your manager complains about your performance, then HR will see this as an issue of performance.

If you have an issue with your manager, unless other members of your team have an issue with him too, then it will be treated as an interpersonal dispute. A personality clash that needs some mediation. One where both parties need to acknowledge and concede some points. Being the graduate, it will most likely be framed as something you will need to adjust to. Your manager’s opinion on you is often taken as fact while your opinion needs to be corroborated. Sound fair to you? I didn’t think so. But there is more….

When you are dissatisfied with your manager, you might tell a peer or two and it pretty much stops there. If your manager is dissatisfied with your performance, it is possible that he will discuss this with his management peers and possibly his line manager too thus making you a scapegoat for any team related issues that may arise later. So now you not only have an issue with your manager, but you have negative momentum issues to deal with at a senior level among decision makers. Your prospects have been jeopardised.

When you apply for a role in another department, the hiring manager will ask a manager from your department about you. Having only heard of you through your manager, it is likely they will spread the negative momentum. So pay special attention to your relationship with your manager, because once it turns bad, unless you have other senior staff who can see the situation or your team members agree with you, then it is going to be difficult getting HR or executive support.

Hopefully this doesn’t scare you too much. Most people mean well, but you may well encounter the few who are simply bad eggs. I just want to impress upon you that “open and honest” feedback on interpersonal matters must be earned by your manager through the establishment of trust and respect. The threat to your prospects are simply too great to ignore.

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